Resolving to shed pounds in the new year

By Eddie Dyer, Executive Vice President 

Well, I hadn’t intended to make any New Year’s resolutions. Until the Senior Celebration on the Friday evening before our December commencement, that is.

President (David) DeCenzo had a meeting in Columbia and was running late that day, so he called and asked me to cover for him at the Celebration by welcoming everyone and handing out the medallions to the new members of the 1954 Society. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to get there by the appointed time.

So, when the time for the ceremony came, I went up to the stage and welcomed everyone and recognized a few members of our Board of Trustees in the audience and our First Lady, Terri DeCenzo. Then, I moved from behind the podium over to where I would be handing out the medallions.

I saw Bill Edmonds, our campus photographer, who was taking pictures of each new graduate as they came up. Bill made some sort of motion to me, and I assumed he was asking me to move one way or the other, as he often does when taking official photos.

The presentations came off without a hitch, and I was pretty pleased with myself at this point. Then Bill came over and said, “Didn’t you see me trying to get your attention?”

I responded, “Sure. I moved where you wanted me to be.”

He said, “No, that’s not what I was saying. I was trying to get you to unbutton your coat. It was very tight. If you had unbuttoned it, you wouldn’t have looked like you were busting out of it.” I’ve known Bill for 30-plus years and have never known him to pull a punch, so I thanked him and said I would try to remember to do that in the future. He mentioned something else about a “belly” but, by that time, I was succeeding in tuning him out.

I immediately thought of a few options, like buying a bigger coat. I remembered, though, that when I came to Coastal Carolina in 1976, my pant size was 31-34. My pant size now is 37-34. Hmmm. I’ve added an inch to my waist for every 6 years or so that I’ve been here, and I haven’t gotten any taller. Not good.

Bill brought me pictures of my younger self on successive days the following week as if he was trying to prove his point. I was looking at pictures of a skinny guy with a narrow waist. Going into the holiday season, this was not what I needed. Especially since Ralph and Martha Hunn had just given me a box of Almond Joys – one of my favorite foods (coconut having great nutritional value, you know) – as a Christmas present.

I eventually decided buying a bigger coat was not the correct option. I've been buying bigger pants every five or six years, and I really can’t afford to replace my whole wardrobe.

So, I’ve made a New Year’s resolution to lose some of my belly, which means I will just need to replace my pants or have them altered to be smaller. I haven’t figured out how I’m going to lose the weight yet, but it will probably involve eating less and exercising more.

So thanks, Bill Edmonds. I look forward to posing for you without you waving your hands wildly, old friend. If you do, I’ll presume you aren’t asking me to unbutton anything and that you would like for me to toss you an Almond Joy.